Tag: The Ithacan

Let’s Redefine How We Teach Young Girls Body Acceptance and Confidence: A Response to Discovery Girls Magazine

Discovery Girls Magazine describes itself as “a magazine created by girls, for girls.” Given that the magazine is aimed at girls as young as eight, I was shocked to come across an article on my newsfeed today titled: “What Swimsuit Best Suits You?”

Discovery Girls

The layout of the magazine. Image Source.

The underlying premise: it’s never too early to teach young girls that their value comes from their bodies.

With lines like, “Find the perfect suit for your body type,” the message that can be discerned here is: only certain bodies deserve to be seen. It also sets up the idea that there are rules for how girls should present their bodies.

Have a curvy body? According to the spread, you better get yourself a one-piece.

The diagram reads: girls who are “curvy up top” should go for a one-piece with “side ties and cutouts that draw the eyes down,” while those who are “rounder in the middle” should opt for “busy geometrics” that “draw the eye inward.”

Let’s pause here for a moment. Who exactly is looking at these girls and why are these girls being painted as spectacles to be looked at in the first place? The implication here is that girls’ bodies are inherently sexual and there to be gazed at.

If we really want to help boost confidence in girls, then we can’t perpetuate narratives that their worth and self-esteem should rest in how they look to others, and in how desirable they are.

Let’s not forget the message that your confidence is inherently linked to what you wear and all it takes to feel confident in your body is finding the right swimsuit. The idea that happiness and feeling good about yourself are rooted in your appearance is a capitalist invention that many industries profit off of. And it doesn’t even work.

The angry response to the swimsuit feature led the Discovery Girls publisher to post an open letter acknowledging their mistake on Facebook.

A statement from the letter reads: “The article was supposed to be about finding cute, fun swimsuits that make girls feel confident, but instead it focused on girls’ body image and had a negative impact.”

I appreciate the response and the acknowledgement, but why does it take a swimsuit for a young girl to feel confident? Why does her confidence have to come from her appearance and her clothes? We have to remember that there wouldn’t be a similar article in a magazine targeted towards boys about what to wear to feel confident. In fact, we don’t feel the need to teach boys confidence at all.

So why do we teach girls to gain confidence through their looks?

Let’s look at the issue with this feature intersectionally now. Bikinis and swimsuits—we are told by the media—are for thin, able-bodied, and conventional bodies that are almost always modeled by white women. So for women and girls who live in unconventional bodies, it can be incredibly difficult—if not impossible— to feel good in a swimsuit.

That’s why this equation for confidence is not nearly enough. This does nothing but reinforce the status quo—operating under the thin ideal and norms about bodies.

I’ll admit it, I’ve fallen into this trap myself. I’ve written on this very blog about how I’ve grown to feel comfortable in my unconventional body wearing sports bras out in public and bikinis on the beach. But why is that what it took for me to stop feeling so bad about myself?

But you should know that I didn’t wear a bikini when I was nine. I already thought I didn’t have the right body type for it. So what about those girls? Where should their confidence come from?

Simply wearing the “right” thing won’t fix anything, it won’t suddenly boost self-esteem and it rests in the notion women are inherently insecure.

So let’s redefine how we teach body acceptance and confidence. Let’s teach young girls that you can like how you look and wear what you want regardless of whether or not it is “perfect for your body type” because that does not define you. Let’s teach young girls that feeling good about oneself can come from a variety of avenues that go beyond appearance—like talents, personal accomplishments, the ability to make people laugh or be a good friend, and so on.

Let’s challenge this narrative of bodies and confidence because we can do better. For the young girls reading this magazine and picking up these messages, we can do better.

Let’s Name Things for What They Are, Shall We?

This post was originally written for TheIthacan.org on April 19th, 2016

*This post is in response to the recent Public Safety Alert, which can be viewed here.

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault (because that’s what it’s called)

A couple of days ago, my phone buzzed with an alert from Public Safety. Since I’m not based on campus this semester, I oftentimes overlook these emails. But this time I saw that Public Safety is investigating a report of “forcible touching.”

Forcible Touching? I think what they mean is sexual assault.

According to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network, “sexual assault is a crime of power and control. The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim.” Last time I checked, unwanted touching falls under this definition.

We need to call it what it is.

Not acknowledging someone’s experience like this, is feeding directly into rape culture.

I get it, the phrase “sexual assault” is scary and we don’t want to admit that it happens at Ithaca College—but it absolutely does. According to a report on campus sexual assault published by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted during college and 27% of college women have experienced some form of unwanted sexual contact. On top of that, 90% of these crimes on college campuses are never reported.

So can we at least support those who do actually come forward? Can we validate their experiences? Can we call them what they are?

Maybe, if we do those things, one day there will be culture on college campuses where survivors feel safe in coming forward if they choose to.

Because right now, this inability to even give sexual assault the proper label, points to how seriously we take it.

It’s rape culture.

It’s downplaying the problem. And framing sexual assault as “touching” instead of a violation only implies that sexual harassment and unwanted touching and contact is not the worst thing in the world, that—like consensual touching—it happens sometimes.

To make matters worse, according to psychologist Lynn Phillips in her book Flirting with Danger, women and girls receive such conflicting messages about love, relationships, and male aggression that they struggle to even name their victimization and experiences. If we don’t call sexual assault what it is in official reports, it makes it that much harder for victims/survivors validate their own experiences.

Yes, even something as simple as a Public Safety email can reinforce to readers that their experience isn’t valid, that it won’t be called what it is, that coming forward isn’t worth it.

As a writer, I can tell you that the words and the language we choose has an impact.

I’m going to close out this post on a tough topic with some resources. If you’d like to find a counseling center near you, a hotline, or learn how to support a survivor, click here. If you’d like to find out about your reporting rights on campus and right to an education free from gender-based violence, click here to learn about Title IX.

Prioritizing Self-Care Over Productivity

Hello there blog,

How’s it going?

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA from you all. I’ve been thinking about writing every day but have needed the break. I feel like my creativity and energy needed a little boost.

These past few months I’ve been ridiculously happier. Probably the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve been surrounded by great people and close friends, working on projects that I’m passionate about, and seeking out new adventures and experiences way out of my comfort zone.

I’ve traveled to new countries by myself, navigated through airports and spaces that didn’t speak English and made my way home, went out of my way to make new friends when I didn’t know a single person in a room, and have worked on having more personal conversations with the people in my life-even if it feels scary.

With all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life lately, I’ve forgotten to keep track of my mental health and make sure I’m taking care of myself. I’ve been under the impression that I’ve been so happy that I don’t need to follow my usual self-care rituals.

But I realize that I still need to make sure that I’m prioritizing self-care.

On a blog where I write about self-care and self-love and mental health frequently, it would seem hypocritical and insincere if I didn’t take a break from this blog to figure out how I’ve been feeling, to relax.

Our culture, that exists under capitalism and favors productivity, caffeine consumption, and constant engagement in projects and activities, doesn’t value relaxation, slowing down, and taking care of ourselves.

Doing things for personal pleasure and not for some sort of end goal oftentimes is seen as being self-indulgent

I love writing. I love this blog. I love running outdoors on sunny days. Why should I have to feel bad for doing these things?

I don’t this blog to turn into something on my to-do list rather than something I genuinely love to do.

Maybe this post is rambly. Maybe it doesn’t make a lot of sense. But my point is, self-care shouldn’t feel self-indulgent. It’s important to not get so wrapped up in the things you feel like you should be doing over the things you want to be doing.

You’re allowed to stop, slow down, relax, and do something you love for a little bit. That’s what I’m trying to do anyways.

It’s a work in progress. Here’s to setting aside some more time for me.

All the best,

Christina

The Value of Not Knowing Anything

Hello beautiful people. I’m back and writing to you on a couch in my new apartment…in London. Did I say I was moving to London for a little bit to study abroad? Well, I moved to London for a couple months to study abroad.

Here’s a pretty picture to make up for my absence:

London

Although my transition to this big city where I never know which side of the street to walk on hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be, I’ve been away the activist community I’ve been a part of at home and I haven’t been participating in the same events or in the same spaces that always gave me ideas and content.

Even though I am unbelievably lucky to do so—moving here, leaving behind my friends, family, and comfort, without a place to live, was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. There were many times when I thought I wouldn’t even go. I had projects and communities I didn’t want to leave behind.

I’m working to build that community here and I’m starting to feel more at home. Every now and again, it’s good to switch things up, start new projects, and join new organizations. I’m excited for this even though it’s nerve wracking.

This semester I’ll be working in local politics which is entirely different to the non-profit and organizing world that I’m used to.

In my last post, I told myself that the theme of 2016 was to be unapologetic—I’m sticking to that and that theme is carrying over into my study abroad experience. In my last post, I wrote that I’m going to demand more from the people and relationships in my life, but I’m also going to demand more from myself.

I want to put myself outside of where I feel comfortable, to be in spaces where I feel out of place so then I have to work harder to figure out how to fit there.

This has caused me to have to have to watch, learn, and pay attention. For example, at my political internship, I know almost nothing about British politics or working in local government. So I have to watch people, see what they’re saying and doing, and look things up.

This is relatively new for me. I’m used to doing hands on work and completing self-directed projects. Now I’m shadowing people and watching what they do. I like getting a different perspective, it’s helping me slow down, not take on a million things at once, and ask questions.

There’s definitely value in learning from other people and not placing pressure on yourself to feel like you have to know everything already.

For those of you back home starting a new semester this week, I urge you to set some goals like this for yourself. Put yourself in a space where know nothing. That way, you have to learn something new.

It’s refreshing. Much of activism is community-based and requires collaboration and learning from one another. So this learning is valuable.

I really appreciate these lessons I’m getting while I’m away from my activist community back home in the states.

On a similar note, I’m currently working on a semi-secret new project. Once again, I don’t know anything. Still, I’m weirdly enjoying figuring it out, messing up, taking breaks, and trying again. I’m also not entirely on my own. I have a mentors who I talk things out with and turn to for guidance.

I like not knowing anything, being out of my comfort zone, having to sit down and figure it out, and learn from others.

It’s not real, rewarding work if you don’t have to put in some effort.

Well, before I get to rambley and like an annoying motivational speaker, I think I’ll end this here.

Go learn some new things,

Christina

A Letter to my Eighteen-Year-Old Self

I’ve officially graduated from high school two years ago. Here are some thoughts that I’d like to share with my eighteen-year-old self.

Prom

Dear Eighteen-Year-Old Christina,

Congratulations, you’ve survived sitting there as the names of your 738 classmates were called and you finally walked across that stage and said goodbye to your high school life—trust me, this is a victory.

You’ve sent in a deposit to Ithaca College and you’re officially a part of the Class of 2017.

HS

You don’t know it right now but the years to come are by far the happiest and most fulfilling so far.

During your first few weeks, you will be really homesick. That’s okay. You don’t know anyone yet and having to share a bathroom with fifteen other women kind of sucks. It’s an adjustment but things will turn around quickly. For the first time, you aren’t just going through the motions in school trying to get the highest grade, you actually enjoy your classes. You’re actually learning things and it’s wonderful.

For once, what you’re learning about matters. You’re talking about race and gender and economic status and the way these pieces of our identities fit together to inform the advantages and disadvantages we will have in life. Unfortunately, a college classroom will be the first time that you ever get the chance to learn what the word feminism actually means.

Ithaca College is relatively small so it no longer feels like you’re slipping through the cracks like it did at your ridiculously huge high school. The days of sitting on a carpet outside the cafeteria because there isn’t enough room for everyone are over. (Yes, my friends and I actually ate lunch on a rug senior year.)

Because of this, you’re able to really distinguish yourself from your peers—you’re able to focus on yourself instead of competing with and comparing yourself to others.

Freeing yourself from this pressure will allow you to excel in your classes, become a DJ, start a new student organization, and speak in front of state legislators all in your first semester. With everyone’s information and personal business available to you as soon as Facebook loads, it can be difficult to not feel like you need to be having as much fun and accomplishing just as much as those around you—but don’t worry about it.

You’ll be so much happier once you learn how to focus on what you love and how to do those things for yourself instead of a resume or because you feel like it will please someone else.

Here’s another secret, first-year college student ever knows what on earth they’re doing. So stop worrying so much about what you’re doing with your life. You don’t have to have everything mapped out. Instead, let yourself stumble into things that you didn’t know you loved. For example, that politics course you randomly selected because you didn’t know what else to take will turn into your second major. The random writing seminar that you actually shouldn’t have been allowed to take will be the place where you meet your best friend. The random talk on Roe v. Wade and reproductive rights hosted on your campus will turn into something that you actively fight for and organize around.

Unfortunately, you will also stumble into bad things and bad people too. A few months into your first semester, you will meet one of the worst people you’ve yet to meet. My advice is to not blame yourself as much as you do for the things that happen between you. It is not your fault that someone else made the decision to treat you like total crap. Realize that he’s inflicted pain on many people and not just you.

This experience will raise the bar for all future relationships—whether it be romantic, friendship, family, or otherwise.

Suddenly you will have no patience for people who don’t text you back or friends who don’t put in enough effort or family members who make constantly criticize you or people who text throughout dates. Walk away quickly from people who make don’t treat you with the respect that you know you deserve.

A year later you will find yourself facilitating programs on healthy relationships and starting peer education based bystander intervention program.

This will be one of the best things you ever do.

You’re sophomore year is going to be a tough one—parts of it are going to straight up suck. Sorry. But work hard through it anyways because even though it may be incredibly challenging it will be so much more rewarding and transformative.

You’ll realize who your real friends are—and who aren’t. You’ll feel lonely sometimes—but that’s only because you’re removing toxic people from your life. Through everything you’ll become connected with wonderful people. Blogging will become an outlet that will give you the opportunity to live in Washington, DC for a summer. The things that bring you pain with inspire you to take action and that action will direct you towards what you want to do in the future.

Here’s to the next great two years of your life,

Christina